Remember Me?

It's amazing how time flies when one is having a good time, and I have been having a good time... just elsewhere. I compile a weekly column on the web (www.bermansbits.com), an every-other-week print column (www.northcountrynewsnh.com [p.4]), and have a Berman's Bits Facebook page, which you are welcomed to look up, follow, and like. As a result, I haven't been here for months. Much of what would show up here shows up in one of the other aforementioned places but usually more abbreviated. Taking up other time is researching colleges for my daughter, doing battle with a financial company, various paperwork demands, power napping, and the minutia of everyday life.

For now, check out the other sites. There's a lot to say, but not here right now. Thanks for reading.

Later.

It Wasn't Bill Gates!

Worth a read (or reread).

Usually the email states: "Bill Gates (or another person of note) recently gave a speech at a high school about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept sets them up for failure in the real world." The statements below, in fact, come from Charles J. Sykes and were printed in the San Diego Union Tribune on September 19, 1996 and in a number of other publications since then. Sykes is the author of "Dumbing Down Our Kids", "50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School", and several other books.

Sharp readers will note that the supposed list of 11 things below contains 14 statements (or so). It is possible that every time the list passed through someone else, a tweak occurred.

These days, as I scan through the posts of my FFF's on Facebook which have appeared since the last time I checked, I remember thinking about the kids I had in class who knew they knew everything showing how little they truly knew. I would think to myself, "Your future will be your punishment." Based on the oh, so screwed up lives they are still living, I was right. The drama exudes from their posts, and these kids (still children but in large bodies) are in the same place they were when in high school. Karma? Payback? Either way, they didn't learn then, and they still haven't. Too bad, so sad... except we are paying for it on many levels.

Some rules kids won't learn in school
Text By Charles J. Sykes

Unfortunately, there are some things that children should be learning in school, but don't. Not all of them have to do with academics. As a modest back-to-school offering, here are some basic rules that may not have found their way into the standard curriculum.

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase, "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grand-parents had a different word of burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4)

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interesting in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.

Rule No. 15: You don't get stupid in high school. (Added by yours truly)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....

I guess it's about that time - I promised myself that after the first of they year, I would look for a part-time job. The reasons are complex, but the short of it is (1) my health insurance went up $200 a month (bringing my share to $1100 a month), which effectively cuts my retirement "income" in half, and (2) my daughter got a car, and I got the payment. As her current job is to help reduce barn fees for her horse, besides the payment, I also have to kick in for gas and insurance. I also could use some structure in my life.

In a way, teaching spoiled me. While I often described teaching as jumping on a treadmill and not slowing down until it was over, I feel I was still organized enough to get 'stuff' done. Now, with all kinds of time, I often find it difficult to get motivated.

So, what am I looking for? I don't have a clue. I can probably list hundreds of things I don't want (including public school education), but I really don't know what I do want. I can offer a few guidelines. First, I would like something that doesn't have to replace me if I'm sick or unable to make it in. It was often more trouble to stay out than go in if I was sick when teaching. We had to send in lesson plans that sometimes actually got done (I heard that sometimes the sub nodded off). The subs meant well, but they couldn't know what was on my mind or needed to be passed along.

I would like a positive, collegial atmosphere - not a place that is run by fear and intimidation. I am comfortable working in a people-oriented atmosphere (as opposed to working with things or numbers). I am pretty good with the spoken and written word and am friendly and outgoing. I know I am not a corporate type!

Two possibilities are (1) a personal speech or writing coach (or editor, but I am not sure the demand exists), and (2) a PLC (Personal Life Counselor). That second one has some real possibilities. As one who currently spends too much time on FaceBook, I see a real need for such a calling. There are so many little children in grown-up bodies who don't have a clue about what it means to be a responsible adult. They need the wisdom and guidance they never received growing up - really. They let Life happen to them and have no control to make anything otherwise. As I just posted as a FB status: "God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest." J.G. Holland. So many have learned not to do anything because The System will give them what they need (and sometimes want). Not to be crude, they have mastered the art of sucking the public teat.

Usually people are wild in and just after their high school years, but sooner or later, they are supposed to grow up instead of continually being immersed in their "daily drama!" There are so many I feel I could help guide along. No, I am not a miracle worker, but I could help so many make their lives better.

It's late enough that I have to close for now. I will either add more later or edit this. Thanks for reading.

The Golden Rule and Scams

The Golden Rule: "Them that's got the gold make the rules."

Over my many years, I have gone to concerts to see such performers as The Mamas and the Papas, The Association, Jim Morrison and The Doors, Three Dog Night, B.B. King, Led Zeppelin, and so on. With the passing of the torch, my daughter recently let me know she wanted to go to a concert in Cambridge, MA, at a place called The Middle East Restaurant & Nightclub.

Trying to be a good father and earn some well-needed Father Points, I checked the website and found that members of the group's fan club could purchase advance tickets for $52 each (the price included some extra "stuff"). For the rest of us, advance tickets costing $17.50 each would go on sale at 10 AM that next Saturday; I only wanted two. Thinking I was a "savvy" consumer, I pre-entered my consumer information and sat in front of my computer waiting for 10 AM to arrive. At the right moment, I began refreshing my screen to be among the first to purchase tickets. In less than a second, a new screen appeared stating "Online Tix Have Sold Out." I did everything right, but I didn't stand a chance.

Massachusetts law does say basically that it is illegal to sell tickets at more than two dollars above face price, but that has been ignored and laughed at for years. Almost immediately, the tickets I tried to get for $17.50 showed up on reseller sites at prices ranging from about $80 to $160 each (as of this writing, I found some online for $95 to $270 each. I don't know if they are all the same, but the first one I looked at also added a "service charge" of an additional 18.5 percent). Does anyone else see something very wrong with this picture? How do these people sleep at night (probably very peacefully)? These are the same people who show up after a disaster and sell water for $10 a bottle and a flashlight for $100 because they can.

The short of it is that my daughter won't be seeing the group, and in spite of my best efforts, I didn't stand a chance. I looked up "collusion" ('a secret agreement between two or more parties for a fraudulent, illegal, or deceitful purpose') which seems to be what's going on, but it doesn't seem to be very secret. Anyone up for a class-action suit? Anyone?

Trade-offs

Some 37 years ago (or so), my brother asked me what it was like living in rural New Hampshire. I summed up my existence by saying that if I wanted to buy a sweater, I could. If I wanted a long-sleeve navy v-neck, I probably have to order it from a catalog. Fast forward to today - some things are slow to change. (I do have to say, however, the Internet changes everything.)

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been to three hardware stores, one car dealer, and talked to a locksmith (who didn't follow-up on and return my call), and I am still without a spare key for my daughter's car. The good news is that there is a dealer who can help me; the bad, the dealer's an hour away - Road Trip!

Every so often, some need surfaces that reminds me I am still in rural NH, which isn't a bad thing - there are just trade-offs. Within ten miles, there is a Walmart and good sized supermarket. I take refuse weekly to the Transfer Station, which is fairly close. I have high-speed Internet and cable TV with 59 channels (of which I can actually get 57). Of those 57, there are perhaps 12 I like and actually watch.When I lived in and around Boston, I could eat out 24-hours a day. Here, the sidewalks are pulled in early.

On the plus side, I have been literally two feet away from various Presidential candidates. It is said if you haven't been, it's by choice. The good days are the best anywhere. The winters can be trying, but it's part of the package. We had one winter when day and night for three weeks, the temperature never went above zero. One winter we hit about 45 degrees below zero, and there have been winters with nothing more than a dusting of confectioners sugar snow. One Mother's Day, we had two feet of snow - it was gone the next day.

Many people are also among the best. In time of need, they can't do enough. I am lucky to be here.

There's much more, but I'm saving that for the book I'm working on.

Paying it Forward

I guess "Pay it forward" means to pass along a good deed. I briefly met a couple yesterday who embody the concept, and I will pay forward their deed as I am able.

I officiated a wedding yesterday in Pawtuckaway State Park, a venue to which I had never been. The bride sent along directions, which I gratefully accepted. As I always try to be early, I left plenty of time to find the place. The short of it is, I sensed something wasn't right, but I did follow the directions correctly. At one point, after going back and forth a couple of times, I saw a man and his wife in their driveway. He raised his have and motioned me over. When I told him what my problem was, he went into his garage and brought back a sheet of directions he had previously printed out. The directions from the Internet were way off, and I guess he and his wife knew they'd be seeing many people. There must have been so many driving up and down his road, that he and his wife printed out numerous sheets to hand out to lost travelers. What a nice thing to do for strangers.

If anyone knows someone who knows someone who may know the couple, please extend my sincere thanks and let them know I will pay it forward.

Two Words

In a recent column (www.bermansbits.com), I dropped in a personal quote along with others from some truly great names (Twain, Hayes, Carver, Reagan, Hoffer, and Badger). Quotes to me are among the ultimate literary forms because they say things so perfectly and precisely. When I was younger I used to think that if I could write like anyone, it would be John Steinbeck - he said things the way I would if I could, kind of like quotes.

Anyhow, in thinking about it and letting it percolate a bit, I realized the quote is something I truly believe in and is a quote that deserves to be shared with everyone in the world. EVERYONE! From someone on welfare to the average work-a-day person to those who inhabit the halls of the great palaces, hearing, understanding, and acting on the quote would change everything (it is that profound). No matter one's age, sex, nationality, political belief, personal credo, etc., the entire world would change for the better (except for those who don't follow it, which in turn would ultimately keep us just where we are).

The quote: “Two words that would truly make all the difference in today’s world: ‘Play fair.’” I mean, can you start to imagine what would happen if everyone simply played fair? From world leaders to businesspeople to politicians to bosses and workers, if everyone simply played fair everything would change. The search term "government fraud" brought me a quick 77 million returns. The government alone has wasted billions and billions of our dollars by not playing fair. Over the past couple of years, the word billion, which was once so hard to even speak, has been replaced by trillion, with no 'hope' or 'change' in sight.

I do have a solution: Play fair!